Saturday, 27 March 2010

Telling People You're Getting a Nose Job

Three friends are coming round for dinner this evening. I've trimmed the plasters back, washed my hair for the first time since surgery and put on some make-up. Apart from the plasters, I haven't scrubbed up too badly. Well, we'll see what the girls say. Two of the girls know about the surgery, but one doesn't. Surprise!

I made the decision to have surgery entirely by myself. I never talked about how I felt about my nose before; it seemed like a really big deal. I told one friend a month before surgery and she was surprised, then listed a few surgeries she would like to have herself. Another friend was the same. She told me that I didn't need it and then said "take me with you!".

That has been a common reaction. I think most people have body hang ups and it's such a pity. I like the little features that make people different. To be honest, my nose was quite strong and 'Roman' looking before hand. I didn't mind that. The problem was that it was just too big for my face. I don't have a big family either, where we all have the same shape of nose and can wear it as a badge of honour. It was just me dealing with that monster on my own.  

Rhinoplasty isn't going to make me a perfect by any means - far from it - and there are a few features which I'm not overly keen on, but the nose is the only thing that I'm going to change.

My friend was very supportive. Telling the first person was the hardest. I felt so silly saying it, but when I did, it cemented it. I was going to get Rhinoplasty. Telling my mum was hard - I thought she'd be angry, but she was completely fine about it. 



  1. Fifteen years ago, I had rhinoplasty done. After enduring teasing from my family and friends for much of my life for my humped profile, I felt justified.
    One thing my mom used to tell me was that one day my nose "would catch up with the rest of my face".
    And by high school, it finally did, and I got used to a steady stream of compliments regarding my looks. I was "striking", "exotic", and my favorite, a compliment made by an ex boyfriend who said that my "beauty was unorthodox."
    Despite being pleased with my appearance, that admittedly did include some primping, I became obsessed with getting a nose job and did so when an insensitive boyfriend teased that I looked like a witch. (This same boyfriend also exclaimed that he thought I was "beautiful" in a crowded shopping mall.)
    I was convinced that a nose job would make me feel pretty and would stop the petty teasing.
    How wrong I was.
    When I returned from my nose job,
    one of my guy friends no longer found me attractive. This was the same guy who used to annoy me with all of his corny come ons.
    That stopped.
    My father also thought that I looked better before. But thought that the right thing to do was to "live with it". "It" being my new nose.
    So I did.
    I was afraid that another surgery might turn out worse than the first one.
    One of the most painful lessons I've learned through this experience is that beauty is subjective.
    I've been insulted for my looks with my new nose.
    I've also received compliments.
    What have I gained?
    A new nose.
    And the burden of telling new boyfriends about it.
    Some understand and are kind and sweet.
    Some not so much.
    There aren't words to describe how uniquely humiliating it is to be referred to as "fake" over a date.
    But these can be the consequences of this decision.
    The media hypes up cosmetic surgery as "no big deal"
    As though this wouldn't be a hard discussion you would have with your future children (if you have any). Or a tragedy if you were disfigured in the process.
    Or simply embarrassed if insensitive people who found out about it called you "fake".
    Whatever you do to yourself, you are a real person with real feelings that are hurt when you are rejected.
    A few months ago, the media ran an article about women copying Princess Kate's nose.
    But where would beauties like actress Ellen Barkin, Michelle Leah,Meeryl Streep, Barbra Streisand, and Jewel be if they had traded in thier noses for Kate's? These are women who are famous not only for thier tremendous talent, but also their good looks and originality.Google pictures of them when they were young. They were knockouts.
    The supermodel Giselle Bundchen has even admitted that she doesn't like her nose, and she is considered one of the most beautiful women alive.
    These women have dealt with thier self conciousness in a positive way.
    These women also don't have to feel self concious about someone finding out about their cosmetic surgery.
    They don't have to have that tough discussion with thier kids.
    I don't mean for this to be a condemnation of rhinoplasty or cosmetic surgery.
    Obviously I went through a lot of pain feeling self concious and with the teasing I received.
    But in retrospect, I prefer the teasing from guys who admired me to the mockery I'm confronted with today, as well as the anxiety about what I've done to myself.
    But I understand if you're still convinced you "need" to change something surgically about your body. I recommend seeing a psychologist before hand and afterwards, as it is definitely a psychological rollercoaster ride.
    And I know people can be cruel.
    My grandma used to say to me, whenever I complained about my nose to her,"you don't know how pretty you are".
    I ask the same of you.

  2. I'm so happy I found your blog! I'm 31 and have wanted a nose job since middle school! I don't know why I've waited so long, probably fear I being judged. I can't wait to read all of your posts. Are there any pics? Or are you staying anonymous?

  3. I have endured the mockery for many years - having my grandfather's nose. Taking the plunge. I feel for the lady who is still telling people she had it done many years later. You don't need to tell anyone. If your parents can't keep a lid on it, they are just rude and thoughtless.